Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Muhasabah diri

Ya Robbul 'Izzati,

Tuhan yang memilik alam dan seluruh isinya...

Jadikan Aku dari kalangan hamba-hambaMu yang sentiasa redho dan bersyukur dengan ketentuanMu...

Andai diuji, sentiasa ingatkan aku bahawa setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmah disebaliknya...inshaAllah

""Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya. (Mereka berdoa): "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tak sanggup kami memikulnya. Beri ma'aflah kami; ampunilah kami; dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami, maka tolonglah kami terhadap kaum yang kafir.""  [Al-Baqarah: 286]

Andai dibentangkan hamparan seluruh isi alam berupa kemewahan tetapi untuk bahagia buat sementara di dunia, aku lebih redho memilih yang sedikit sahaja tetapi dapat menjamin kebahagiaan hakiki di akhirat sana.

*Janganlah sesekali kita bersangka buruk dengan Allah kerana Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang baik dan buruk untuk kita

Apakah kamu mengira bahwa kamu akan masuk syurga, padahal belum datang kepadamu (cobaan) sebagaimana halnya orang-orang terdahulu sebelum kamu?Mereka ditimpa oleh malapetaka dan kesengsaraan, serta digoncangkan (dengan bermacam-macam cobaan) sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman bersamanya: 'Bilakah datangnya pertolongan Allah?'Ingatlah, sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu amat dekat [Al-Baqarah:214]

Allahu Allah

Monday, July 25, 2011

To my Jaan :)

Glückliche verlobung, mein freund! =)

fil mawaddah hatta al-jannah, inshaAllah~

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Confessions of a Niqabi

I always thought there was something wrong with women who wore the niqab. Why on earth would one go into isolation by covering every part of her body and especially the face? Did the niqabi think that she was a superior Muslim, one who had attained true salvation? That’s what I thought before I interacted with niqabis. I was averse to them, and I always thought that they were the “extremists” everybody talked about.

Honestly speaking, I was wrong, and I was a victim of my own ignorance. Born and raised in a life of comfort and luxury, I had forgotten that there was a world beyond designer clothes, shoes, and make up; a world where true beauty meant character and a beautiful heart. Perhaps I was walking on a path whose architects were those people who were never satisfied with anything. I was a slave of the world. I knew where to get the best food, clothes, and accessories, but I didn’t know where to get a good character. Wherever I went, many men would look at my face twice, and since that was the criterion of how people dealt with me, it worked perfectly for me. At one time, I even wanted to be a fashion model when I grew up, but being Muslim was the only barrier.

My paradigm shift came when my friends tried to get me to do things that would displease Allah. I was betrayed and shattered by their behaviour. So I cried to Him; day and night I cried; eating and bathing I cried. I only made one du’a, a du’a from the heart – I prayed to Allah for good company. Hence my journey to the beauty of Islam began. He blessed me with some of His followers who made me realize the beauty and significance of hijab. I took baby steps as advised by one of my friends, FH, and after the piece of cloth was on my head, I wore an abaya. But my baby steps didn’t end there, for an abaya was still too little for what I wanted to achieve. I attended some classes on spirituality, and there I met the most amazing people I’d met on earth- niqabis. They had the most beautiful hearts. Their character helped me refute those claims I had made about niqabis all my life. These were all well educated women, professionals from prestigious universities, and they were not isolated in any sense. Each of them played an essential role in society. Some were doctors, some were full-time mothers, and others were architects, lawyers, and teachers.

I fell in love with these women. For whenever I saw them, I always got a chance to look within myself and evaluate my heart. What was my relationship with God whom I loved so much? I wanted to become a niqabi, but at the same time I knew that my face veil would turn me into a stranger in the eyes of the world. I asked a lot of my friends for advice, and they told me to make niyyah (intention) and leave the rest to God, and so I did that.  I had to crush my desires, I had to step on my ego, and I had to do things differently. My friends helped me a lot. One of them pointed out that any man who saw my face could keep a mental picture of me. This thought was a shocker since I had removed all my pictures from Facebook so that men couldn’t bug me.

I also asked my friend, MJ, if the niqab was obligatory, and she told me how she didn’t get involved in the fiqh issues, but did it for love of the Lord of the Universe. I asked myself if I loved God enough that I would dress for Him, and the answer my heart gave me was not in the affirmative. I was upset, but I didn’t stop praying to Him. I prayed to Him for guidance, I prayed to Him for righteousness, I prayed to him for modesty, I prayed to Him to make me live up to my name, Maryam, and I prayed for His love. My du’as gave me so much strength that the same day I went to an Islamic shop and bought myself a face veil and wore it right there.

I didn’t tell anyone, not even my family. My mother was at a family tea party, and I decided to disclose my niqabiness there. The result wasn’t pleasing. My dear mother stopped talking to me; perhaps she feared that I would remain single for life. I felt homeless, miserable, and alone. My father didn’t know because he didn’t live with us, and at that time, there was too much friction between us to go to him for help. My friends told me to treat my mother even more nicely than before, to never hurt her, and to be extremely kind to her. It was a difficult time. While at home, I would cry in my room and pray to God for support. I would spend much of my time in the Masjid.

One day I happened to go to a family brunch, and when one of my uncles saw me, he mocked, insulted, and shouted at me. He told me that I had joined some “mad women club.” All I did was smile under my niqab and assure myself that he loved me and said that only impulsively. My dad was there too, so my uncle told him to keep a check on me as though I had joined a terrorist group or something. Alhamdulillah, my dad supported me, and somehow I felt that the friction between us two was melting away. I was intimidated by my uncle and decided to stop going to places where he was present. When he invited me and my family for dinner, I decided to skip it. I called my dad and told him that I wasn’t going. He told me not to be afraid of anyone and that I had taken the right step. Islam stays the same no matter if sometimes people refuse to practice it. My dad told me that he was proud of me and that I had the support of the Lord of the Universe.

So I went to my uncle’s place, and he asked me if I thought that I was better than everyone else. When he repeatedly shouted at me, misquoted me when I defended myself, and refused to understand what I was saying, I felt like someone had stepped on my heart. I couldn’t stand there anymore as fat tears rolled down my cheeks. I rushed home and cried like a baby. Then, my mum came home and hugged me. Her hug after days of silent treatment meant a lot. She told me that she defended me at my uncle’s and that I hadn’t done anything wrong.

The aftermath of the niqab was that I learned to focus on my character. I became even closer with my mum, and the barriers of communication between me and my dad ended. I learned not to judge people. I learned to be patient. Now when I look in the mirror, I tell myself to be on my best behaviour wherever I go instead of focusing on my outer beauty. My niqab is my safeguard; it reminds me that my heart belongs to God, and that He is the only one who deserves my sincerity and love. I am not afraid of the world and all the comments people throw at me anymore. I remind myself that people have been imprisoned by others, but I am a free woman who can dress to please my Lord and not His creation. Islam gave me a right to live my life in a very honourable and respectable way.  Islam taught me to love myself. It taught me that the beauty given to me by God was a gift not to be exploited, that I was not chattel who would be manipulated by others, that there was more to me than my looks, and that I had a brain that worked perfectly and an intellect that differentiated between what was right and what wasn’t.

We forget our purpose in life. Our sole purpose is to obey Him, for He didn’t create us for any other reason. I am on a journey to the Hereafter. Perhaps you might be averse to the way I dress, but I want you to realize that it’s time we transcend trivial issues like our dress and focus on more important issues like loving Allah ta’ala and emulating Prophet Muhammad sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Niqab, hijab, and abaya are all secondary. What’s more important is to understand the purpose of our creation. Once we do that, then all the secondary things will fall into place inshaAllah.  This life is transient and takes only a few hours in comparison to life in the Hereafter. For Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala reminds us in Surah Yunus Verse 45:
And on the Day when He will gather them, [it will be] as if they had remained [in the world] but an hour of the day, [and] they will know each other. Those will have lost who denied the meeting with Allah and were not guided.
Beauty doesn’t last forever, what lasts forever is good character and obedience to Allah ta’ala – for if we train our limbs now to obey Him, it will be much easier for us when we grow older.


source: HERE

credits to FH for tweeting me this :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Off Bersih 2.0

Those who were really out there trying to make a difference, HATS OFF and CONGRATULATIONS!

Those who know nothing but just know how to blame people by posting spicy made statuses, well..

Let's reflect on this hadeeth shall we?

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his neighbour. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his guest."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Mainstream medias...hmmmm...shame on you~

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un and my prayers goes to the late Baharuddin Ahmad. May Allah bless your soul and place you among the righteousness, ameen.

Those at the "upstair" rows, remember, life in this world is temporary. Don't make the "rakyat didahulukan" a trophy statement.

And as a closing:

ini baru 1 Malaysia yang x tipu punya! =)

1 Malaysia

I don't need to write a long entry pertaining Bersih as I know there are plenty writings out there anyways. Some are worth reading while others may be just lengthy writings yet zero substance and do not benefit in any way whatsoever so I'm afraid I might end up being one *sarcasm intended*

Peace for the real peace fighters!!!



Friday, July 8, 2011

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Just a 2 cents from me~


DISCLAIMER: This entry is about covering the aurah but directs specifically to the shawl-wearers as that is the most famous hijab style currently.

"And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed."  [Surah An-Nur verse 31]

Nowadays we can see more and more girls/ladies covering their hair and that is a GOOD thing.

What seems to be the problem is HOW they are covering up their hair. Women and fashion are two items that cannot be separated. And what is obvious in my current observation is that; fashion has once again succeeded in dominating the female minds by coming up with some ridiculous fashionable shawls.

I am no religious scholar to point out "oh sister, that is haram, you are not wearing it the right way etc". I repeat that by being an item, one can still acknowledge the correct wear and abide the the laws of Allah. There's always the longer option, the ones that suit the requirement of covering over the chest [and preferably lower than that if you can]; the Pashimina or you can just buy the material and DIY your own hijab/shawl so that you can make it very nice in length.

Then comes the clothing part. If you have decided to wear the headscarft/shawl/hijab/pashmina/tudung,etc, remind back yourself, for WHAT PURPOSE? Don't drown yourself in being a victim of fashion crime.

The fashion crime I'm talking about here is combining two opposite features. You wear the hijab but at the same time you also wear tight clothing or transparent clothing. And then comes the excessive accessories fashion to put over the shawl/hijab which I just don't understand.

In covering our aurah lies MODESTY and we should all reflect back are we COVERING OURSELVES MODESTLY?

Can read about it HERE [ni versi indonesia...boleh google lagi kalau rajin]

I don't intend to babble much about this as I know there have been plenty posts over the net. I find some intriguing and some others have the content but too harsh in giving views  [IDK,maybe that's their style of writing so it's up to individuals]

What I want to remind...to me and to all my sisters in Islam  [bukan SIS ye] is that; when Allah made that rule for us, it is never to burden us. Everything from Him is for our sake so we must open our minds a little to really acknowledge that and to really2 understand before fulfilling it. Don't do it for the worldly matters but do it for the hereafter's sake.

"Nak nampak cantik depan manusia itu fitrah tapi apa gunanya kalau di mata Allah, nampak jelik?"

Renung2kan dan selamat beramal~



Day 3 [Letter to my Parents]

Dear Mama&Ayah,

Thank you for being such wonderful parents! From giving birth to me, gave me love and all the attention, gave shelter and good education and MOST IMPORTANTLY, showed me the right course of living a Muslim life. I am very fortunate to start my education at Glasgow and all thanks to Ayah for tagging us along to Glasgow back then =). Thank you for spending good money just to send me to SMIH so that I can improve better and Alhamdulillah, if not much, I managed to keep some rules that I followed back then until now.


There are too many things I want to write about you! I love you so much and you are irreplaceable! We are more than just mom and daughter, we are super besties! You are the greatest cook! We share lots of things together! Thank you for being the understanding mother and not pushing me to do things that I don't feel like doing  :)

I apologize if I didn't turn up to be just like you wanted me to be but I promise that I will make the best out of my life and make you both proud of me,inshaAllah =)


Kakak love you both dearly. May Allah bestow His fullest blessings on you both and may we all be united back in Jannah one day, ameen =) and thank you thank you thank you for everything! Alhamdulillah~

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

wordless wednesday

Studying for final exam. Paper "English Literature". That was only half of it!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 1 [Letter to my Best Friends]

Dear you all,

Upon reading this, I may or may not be around here anymore hence I'm leaving this piece as a remembrance [in any case if you miss me lah :p]

The ones I consider as my besties..you already know who you are :)

I truly love and look up to each and every one of you. Being around you gave good influence and good vibes to me. You ladies are special in your own ways.

Thanks for keeping up with me. Not many can deal with me in the long run but you ladies managed to do so. [sila tepuk bahu sendiri :)]. I always appear the opposite of your characters and others always point it out but we know our friendship better ayt?

I may have not verbally as well as textually told you ladies that I love you so here, I'm saying that I DO :)

May our friendship lasts till jannah inshaAllah :)

XOXO to all!

Peace from w.s.k ^^

[xtaulah korang rajin singgah ke blog ni ke x..kui2]

Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Letter

I found this in my friend's blog. Letters will be written to the mentioned people [based on days] via blogging. I guess it's like writing a WILL. Something people can read over and over again when I'm gone. Definitely gonna do this. But, I will ignore some irrelevant, unnecessary "days". To be continued

TIRAMisu :p

Dengan lafaz bismillah saya memulakan mukadimah catatan ini. Laungan azan saya lafazkan di atas kebenaran Allah yang telah memberi rahmat dan hidayah bagi saya menulis entri ini....

*if you understand,then you'd understand,wink2 :)

AK...we must do this again!next time,bring extra clothes..LOL

feeling2 botanical garden:p

namanya Awang. Dia makan apa2 sahaja termasuklah saudara kandung [puak2 ayam]

funny thing about me and my sweet pie *LOL* AK is that I  had never gone to her house,even once. From her casa in KT until her current residence so I took the chance to invade her territory for two days last week. The first time meeting her family  [wah...feeling2 menantu pilihan gitu..kui3] and had so much fun with her. Although she just recovered from her love-sickness, she managed to entertain me well *hugs*.

She drove me [dasyat oh!] to Jusco Tebrau [first time pergi for me] and we met another of my sweet pie, memel [bukan nama sebenar]....Accompanied AK to buy some "stuff", took pictures with Suhaan and returned home. After a short while, yet another sweet pie of ours, AI came! S.I.W.A would have been complete if Siah joined in :D.  WE catched up with so many past memories, talk serious business and The rest goes untold here but I assure you we had so much fun! :D

The next day, me and AK went to the Kota Tinggi's Waterfall where we [basically AK treated me] had to PAY RM9 per person [?!!!] and we had to sight-seeing some construction works being done on the right side before reaching the waterfall itself. Nevertheless, we still had so much fun together,capturing photos, making a crazy video, playing with the water A BIT [ we were dress-impaired for waterfall event,LOL]. When it was near Asar time, we said our goodbyes to the relaxing water and head our way to the Masjid Jamek Kota Tinggi [x silap lah] for Asar. After that, she showed me her house in Kota Jaya and happily for her, the pasar lambak was on that day so we made a stop to buy some scrumptious delicacies to bring home. Our last pit stop was at the new Giant near her house and then we went home and took some more pictures of her chickens and flowers...hoho

The next morning, it was time to leave JohannesBerglahsangat and YES, I slept all the way during the flight... [aircond dia terlalu enak!]

I would like to take this opportunity to say my warmest THANK YOU to AK and her FAMILY for the delightful hospitality...InshaAllah I'll definitely come again! :D...harapnya sudi lah menerima kedatangan saya lagi ye..hoho

Pantun dari saya:

Makan roti paratha dengan kari,
jangan serik ajak saya lagi....
[syg AK xde abang lelaki...kuang3]